Archive for boundaries

Summer Book Review #4: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

Posted in Book Reviews with tags , , , on July 25, 2013 by Annette Budd

BoundariesI actually read this book over a decade ago and I really didn’t have ears to hear what it had to say to me.  But as I reread it this time, it spoke to me much more.  It may be that I am still in a place now where I can’t take in all of its principles. I will probably read this again in a few years and get a little more out of it still.

I am a very busy person.  I have six children, grandchildren, a home to keep, a business to run and I’m still homeschooling my youngest two.  I recently stepped down from Crossroads Christian Academy, a homeschool high school that we helped to establish back in 2005. There I was the director, registrar and taught many literature classes. I’m also a precinct leader for the GOP and do many things at my church.  My husband is also a ministry leader and I do lots and lots of administrative and other things to help him. So finding things to fill my time has never been an issue for me.

When I say “Yes” to something – or initiate a plan – it is almost always because I feel led by God to do so and I usually am very passionate about it. And because of this I very rarely feel anger or bitter about all of the things that I am doing. But, as one can imagine, there isn’t a lot of margin in my life. Because I love what I do so much, I tend to overdue a lot. So balance is, by far, my biggest issue. And having good boundaries should help promote the balance that my soul craves.

One of my biggest takeaways from this book was something from the Word of God. Galatians 6:2 tells us to “carry each other’s burdens”.  I’m really good at identifying someone who needs help and walking alongside that person.  This gives me great joy. But I often overlook what is said just a couple sentences later in 6:5, “each one should carry their own load.”

I know that I don’t spend enough time analyzing if I am helping someone with a burden or helping someone with an individual load that they should be carrying themselves.  Since I’ve read this, I’ve really started to examine my actions.  I know that I especially shouldn’t carry the loads of those I love the most, my family members. It is my honor to walk with them when they have burdens but I actually am harming them if I do very much load carrying.

I guess I am learning boundaries bit by bit. But the more I grow in this area, the more I understand my need to master this. Hopefully, with God’ help and amazing grace, this will one day cease to be an issue in my life.

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I have limitations.

Posted in Me, Things I put into my heart from a sermon with tags , on September 21, 2008 by Annette Budd

I have limitations.

Even though, on the surface, that seems like it would be an easy concept for me to grasp, it certainly isn’t. My God has NO limitations. Since He lives in me, fills me and sustains me, I sometimes feel like I shouldn’t have limitations. This has become a problem in my life. Pastor John Leach preached a sermon today that really impacted me. It seems that I am not the only one with this problem. This is a struggle in his life also.

He gave the following illustration in his sermon: Our lives are like reservoirs. God fills us. He is the source. A daily, real relationship with Him fills us up. I have this relationship. God pours His grace and his love into me in amounts that constantly amaze and astound me. He is faithful. Then, people come and tap into this reservoir. And, for the most part, this is a good thing. I have poured myself into a lot people. Most of the time, they grow and develop their own reservoirs and feed others.

This is a good thing. But then more and more people/things start to tap in and this is what happens:

This is not about not letting God fill me up. He does, every day, all the time. He is faithful. This is about my own limits. See God doesn’t change the size of my reservoir. The more people that tap in, the less there is of me. It is very unhealthy of me to live at this level – spiritually, emotionally and physically. I have limits.

I need to be way more careful about how much I am pouring out of my reservoir. I am going to spend sometime evaluating where everything is going. I am going to take care of myself. I don’t know what this looks like. I probably need the help of my friends and family to accomplish this. But it must happen.