And then came February of 2010. Things seemed to be so much worse than they were in January. As the pattern continued into March and April, I was pretty sure that I must not have heard God correctly – that He really didn’t make those promises to me. I felt that these four things would plague me until I got to heaven. So, I settled back into my defeated attitude and just kind of resigned myself.

Then came August.  I go to Jubilee Fellowship Church and John Leach is my pastor. If you are searching for a place to seek God and receive life, Jubilee is it. Pastor John preached a sermon one Saturday (one of many) that changed my life.  He talked about how after God makes a promise, the first thing that always happens is that Satan comes and tries to steal that seed before it can grow into anything. He gave many Biblical examples of this – too many to list here.  If you are interested in them, I would encourage you to listen to his sermon from August 15, 2010.

Finally, things just all of a sudden made sense to me. It wasn’t that I heard God incorrectly. It was that Satan is an evil beast (I actually thought of a more fitting curse word to describe him, but I never curse so evil beast will have to do) and he wants to steal from me.  He wants to destroy me. He wants to kill me. And instead of resisting him and standing firm on God’s promises, I listened to the father of lies. Because I couldn’t see it with my eyes, I assumed the seed of that promise wasn’t really there. To reinforce this, that snake reminded me that all of my problems were not only there, they were growing bigger.

So after I came to the epiphany that since I was already in a war, I should stand up as a warrior and fight back.  The first thing I did was tell these promises to some trusted friends (I love you, Dan and Kerry Hoff).  And then I started to fight. I prayed, I watched and I expected. This, of course, caused Satan to hit us hard. Harder than we have ever been hit in our lives. He attacked everything he could find. And, trust me on this, he hits below the belt.

But I continued to trust God.  I decided I was not going to let go of His promises. And then things started to change.  Almost immediately I saw a miraculous change in one area.  It is like something that had tortured me for as long as I can remember was completely gone. It is too personal and intimate to talk about in detail publicly in this forum. Then I started to see gradual changes in another of area that he promised. This promise involved other people, so again, I can’t mention it here.  But I would like to testify that God has restored a relationship that has been bad for more than five years.

The other two things, I am very excited to talk about in more detail.

We have been through a lot of financial struggles.  Some of it was our own doing. We incurred debt, some of it was personal and some of it was business related, that was strangling us. And we also had something happen to us that was not our own doing and that got us in trouble with the IRS.  Now, if you have never been in IRS trouble, may God continue to bless you. The IRS has been a ruthless monster that we have been trying to appease. It has been a horrible experience.  Dealing with them has consumed the last four years of my life. I’m excited to say that last week, we were finally able to pay all their penalties in full! We still have one more item that we are trying to unravel with them but our taxpayer advocate is confident that the IRS is completely in the wrong on this issue and that it will resolve without costing us anything.

We also have made incredible progress on the rest of our debt. We are very grateful to Dave Ramsey and his financial freedom class. I’m not sure when we will be completely finished with it, but we are close.

And now for the news of the day.  Another one of God’s promises was fulfilled! When I stepped on the scale this morning, I hit my weight goal! I’ve lost 60 pounds.  For those of you who are math orientated, that is ten pounds for each of my six children. I’m not exactly sure how much I weighed before I got pregnant with Stina, but I am sure it is close to my weight right now.  I started going to Slimgenics at the very end of March.  I eat a very balanced diet and I go in three times a week for dietary counseling. No magic bullets here – it was a lot of hard work. But it’s done! I’m free! I no longer am dealing with the physical and emotional issues that were caused by that extra weight. I will now move into the balance and maintenance program that they have.  I think that lasts about six months.

So, to end this very long post, I want to leave you with Galatians 5:1:  It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! Stand firm then and do not let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Here’s the fantastic news for you:  You don’t have to be imprisoned by anything. Instead of listening to Satan’s lies, listen to God’s truth that will set you free.  He who called you is faithful and He will do it.

Either way, we are toast.

                 This?

Or This?

I think that the worst kind of pain is watching someone that you love experience pain.

I have so many wonderful memories of Granddad and my uncles. I will always cherish the fun that we had and the love that we shared. All of the late nights.  The laughter. The deep conversations about God. The stories. The teasing. The games. The cheating at the games. The denial of the cheating. The reunions. The water fights. The prayers. The meals. The conversations while cleaning up after the meals. The advice. The support. The love.

Even the annoying sides of these people have become precious to me and I miss them.

It has been such a blessing to sit around with all the cousins and remember.  And we have done a lot of sitting and remembering this year. As much as I am not looking forward to another funeral this week, I am looking forward to being together with people that I truly love. People that I don’t get to see enough.

And in the midst of all of this death, God blessed Gary and I with our first grandchild this year. As hard as it was to kiss Granddad goodbye for the last time here on earth, I got to come home and kiss and hold my precious Josie Mae. Life is precious.

Yesterday, one of my older children was kind of sad about something. Michaela, who is five, noticed this and went to comfort her sibling.  Michaela asked what was wrong and the problem was described to her in basic terms. Michaela immediately said, “Well, we need to pray about this. Repeat after me . . . .” Michaela then put together a prayer, pausing after each line for her sister to repeat her words.  When she was done she asked her sister if she felt better. The sister responded that she felt a little better. Michaela decided that they were going to pray until her sister felt completely better. So, Michaela fed her sister a line at a time having her repeat her words until the problem was prayed through.

It is so encouraging to me that a five-year-old would know that the answer to a problem is bringing it before God over and over again until God heals all wounds completely.

Sometimes people do things because it meets a need in their own lives.

Sometimes people do things because it meets someone else’s need.

Sometimes people do things because God has called them to do it and their sole desire is to please Him.

People in the first group, often develop a sense of entitlement and make others who work with them miserable. People in the second group, although they are much more pleasant to work with than people in the first group, grow weary and give up. Sign me up to work with those in the third group. I want to surround myself with those whose passion and strength comes from God.

It’s time to examine your motivation. If you’re frequently angry and complaining (a result of being in the first group) or if you are exhausted and not getting things done (a result of being in the second group), STOP! Only continue your work if you can get on the same page with God.

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and teach my children Latin conjugations, Chinese and Portuguese, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal, and no matter what I say, they will not hear me.

If I have the gift of prophecy, and know my children’s bents and God’s plan for their lives, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and am the keeper of the teacher’s editions and solutions manuals, and if I have all faith, so as to move mountains, and even keep up with my giant piles of laundry and dishes, but do not have love, I am nothing, even if all the people at church think I’m supermom.

And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and my formal dining room gets turned into a schoolroom, and our family vacations look more like educational field trips, and if I surrender my body to be burned, never having time to get my nails done, put makeup on, or even take a bath, but do not have love, it profits me nothing because all my family cares about is the expression on my face, anyway.

Love is patient with the child who still can’t get double-digit subtraction with borrowing, and kind to the one who hasn’t turned in his reasearch paper.  It is not jealous of moms with more, fewer, neater, more self-directed, better-behaved, or smarter children.

Love does not brag about homemade bread, book lists, or scholarships, and is not arrogant about her lifestyle or curriculum choices.  It does not act unbecomingly or correct the children in front of their friends.  It does not seek its own, trying to squeeze in alone time when someone still needs help; it is not provoked when interrupted for the nineteenth time by a child, the phone, the doorbell, or the dog; does not take into account a wrong suffered, even when no one compliments the dinner that took hours to make or the house that took so long to clean.

Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness or pointing out everyone else’s flaws, but rejoices with the truth and with every small step her children take in becoming more like Jesus, knowing it’s only be the grace of God when that occurs.

Love bears all things even while running on no sleep; believes all things, especially God’s promise to indwell and empower her; hopes all things, such as that she’ll actually complete the English curriculum this year and the kids will eventually graduate; endures all things, even questioning from strangers, worried relatives, and most of all, herself.

Love never fails.  And neither will she. As long as she never, never, never gives up.

Kid:  How much does it cost to go to public school?

Me: It’s free. They have some fees for activities but it basically doesn’t cost the students anything.

Kid: No really, tell me how much it is.

Me: I’m not kidding. Go ask Dad.  He will tell you the same.

Kid: Come on, just tell me.  Is it expensive?

Sometimes this will go a couple more rounds.

I just think it is interesting that all of my children assume that it costs the students a great deal of money to go to public school. But we all know that public school isn’t free. I especially know this because not only do I pay taxes to send all of my neighbor’s children to public school, then I turn around and then pay for my own kids’ curriculum. According to an HSLDA report in 2004, roughly 1/10 of the money is spent on homeschooling that is spent on public school kids.  And the results? The average homeschooler scores in the 80th percentile on standardized tests.

On the more personal side of things, I spend about $250 – $300 a year, on average per elementary/jr high school student. In the 2006-2007 school year, Colorado spent an average of $8,167 per pupil (and we are ranked 40th in the county) I have saved the citizens of Colorado a boatload of money.